Everyone has a Limit

Entry harini lebih pada sesi luahan perasaan akibat dah lama aku pendam, tapi aku cuba olah ayat tu dengan lebih rasional supaya tidak terlalu emosional dan keterlaluan. Maklumlaaaa nama pon sesi luahan perasaan, berat sebelah pulak ceritanya. Emosi yang kurang stabil ni disebabkan faktor2 belum dapat kerja lain kot, so aku rasa agak tertekan sket akibat tempoh kontrak pon dah nak tamat, kerja pon hampir 3thn without any increment pon 1hal. Ok aku rasa part tu aku xpayah sentuhla kan, sebab rezeki tu Allah yg tentukan. *** Nampak sangat aku xbersyukur*** Astaghfirullah..... biasalah manusia, keinginan tinggi, tapi yang sedia ada tu xpenah bersyukur... rezeki kesihatan, kehidupan bahagia tanpa bala bencana, boleh beramal dan beribadat.... ***isk isk.... beristighfar jap *** 

Back to the point, aku mula rasa ketidakselesaan kt ofis yang maksima. Mana taknya, bayangkan kita datang ofis, untuk berkerja ***xboleh blah skema*** bagi yg ada kerja tu siapkan kerja, bg yang xde tu bawala diri 'google'ing, 'yahoo'ing', 'facebook'ing etc atleast laa kan. And if nk bersembang u better keep your voice at the lowest volume as possible. Haaa...the condition is different here, kalo sampai bukak pintu tu... da dgr suara bergebang. Ok fine, after 10-20 minutes it happen, diorg ni akan rest for awhile and sambung lagi bergebang. Depends on topics discussed, if yesterday is a public holiday @ somebody from the group was on leave, so the story will become interesting until they cant stop talking and laughing.

Its weird how they can maintain the energy to chat for a long time, i would prefer sitting down quietly at my place and do my thing, whatever it is. Nak kata aku pendiam tu tidak, but the office i think not a place for me nk chit chat cmtu. Kalo yer pon nk bersembang out of office time breakfast, lunch @ teatime. Diorg ni sangatla tidak respect others privacy, sebab bukan aku saja yg tak selesa but ramai... Sometimes ada yg tegur2 jugak, but how can we expect people to change? Macam kedai kopi dah rasa. Haihhhh

And another thing yang merimaskan aku ialah honestly, aku suka mendengar and sometimes i will share my stories gak. But I dont know why...this person really annoyed me. Salah dia atau salah aku yang menyebabkan aku rimas, I dont know either, sebab tiap kali aku terfikir pasal nak pergi keje jek aku dah demotivate coz aku akan jumpa dia. Macamana keadaan tu merimaskan? You could imagine sampai2 jek ofis then there go someone who'll wait for u until u stop doing ur work, just for breakfast. Xsempat pon nk bukak outlook... ***kadang2laaa*** and masa tu jugakla dia bukak mulut nk ajak bersembang. FYI, aku akan amek time, before I start anything. Aku akan diam beberapa minit.... I just need my time and the silence...

Bukan aku xsuka bersembang dgn dia, tapi aku rasa dia banyak sesi luahan perasaan, lebih beremosi, pastu asyik bercerita pasal husband so...aku rimas. Aku mcm jadi stress dgn cerita2 tu aku xboleh tahan. Memang dia bawak negative energy pada aku. So, kadang2 bila dia nk bercerita, aku tend to buat xlayan or bg respon yg biasa je without asking anything. Macam rude kan? But mmg masa tu aku dah annoyed sgt so, before aku bawak negative energy balik rumah baik aku stop dia.

Kesimpulannya, mayb diorg tgk aku macam org yang bole bawak sembang2 tapi aku xsuka sangat sembang2 cm 'akak salu buat kt surau' tu. Bukannya ape, aku xsuka bingit2 kot. Kt rumah @ bilik xpe, sembang ringan2 xpe, but bukan sesi luahan perasaan.... Im Sorry.

Maaf kepada sesiapa yang terasa, bukan nk burukkan sesiapa sebab xda nama disebut. Everyone has a limit.

5 MO

Assalamualaikum kwn2 semua. I've been missing this blogging thing, currently busy dgn mcari kerja, interview dan daily routine smpikan xda masa nk update any news. Now Nabilah hampir mcecah 5MO, alhamdulillah masih fully BF. Tp....even sudah 5bulan, perut itu xmau kempis~~ uuuu sgtla runsing dan mganggu jiwa raga hokey!!!

Progress baby da pandai meniarap, and her saliva running like crazy...adoiii penat btul nk lap. Pastu, da start nk main2 and kluar jalan ***xnk duduk dlm bilik, cepat bosan***. Dia da recognize familiar face to her and even kalo talking to her dia mcm fhm ape yg dikatakan. Alhamdulillah. Mmg seronok, tiap kali nk hantar gi umah bbsitter mesti peluk cium dlu dlm kete ***lama2*** pesan kt dia to be a goodgirl before keluar kete. ***sobsob*** Grabbing and touching things to mmg dia suka especially colourful things... kalo suka sgt tu smpi mjerit2 adoiii excited btul!

The thing with me is im feeling annoyed with the flabby tummy and the stretchmarks... Really want the old me..uhuk2 i mean physically. Tp itula pengorbanan seorg ibu kn? We got a baby along with the extras whatever it's call. I've tried few of slimming wear but ada yg xberapa sesuai and xselesa... ***sigh*** I've been thinking of trying PB, after reading a few review from frens and blogger. The price what is concerning me...heheh of coz la kn, gaji ciput tp nak cantik....hahahhaah cmne tu???!!!!! 

Anyway, after reading wanie nasir testmonial, terseru kejap pasal menda ni after for so long tertangguh....hurm. Nnt i inform whether or not i afford@get to hv this PB. 

Actually Im in the situation of 50-50 of my current job. 1stly coz it's a contract position, and the company itself in a transforming phase internally, having the company without any project for a year its my concern and also as my contract will be ended on early of february 2012. Should I or should i not searching for new job is really stressful and tiring, coz its already end of the year,,usually company tgh freeze their recruitment team for headcount. Xbyk sgt job yg ada, position yg sesuai and plus2 i've to consider the place near my hse@bbsitter hse@tmpt xjam. Huhuhuuh mmg xbyk. 

i've got a few interviews but all failed. It's not my fate. I got this last chance ***what i could say*** the position is really suited me well, but whether or not it'll be mine...nextweek i'll update insyaAllah. A goodnews, yesterday i've been assigned to a special project, to transform the company... the percentage that my contract will be extend is high.... Owhh..Allah, please show and guide me. Im hopeless without your guide.Ya Allah the most merciful i am your hopeless servant...

Bebelan

Tangan pijar,tapi nak mnaip jugak. Baru pas memasak... ayam masak lemak cili api. Tu yg pijarnya. Kalo org melaka...'pijau'! Hehehe nk type pijau, tapi kang org kompius lak apekah 'pijau' itu. :p

Kebosanan tadi, sempatla update email keje, and br teringat bulan ni, there'll be a re-org for the company im working. My current bos ada inform that i'll be staying under him for some more years...(smpi bila???? uhuk2) but luckily, as Im in process of waiting for labor...so xyah susah2 pikir nk apply cuti and senang nk cooperate and inform anything to him. 

And more, there's something new about the system of attendance in the 'new enviroment'. Sebenarnya, previous company pon da ade mende ni tp as for our company yg still in a 'toddler age' byk yg xbape nk siap and in process of bertapak dgn kukuh.Hehehe (aku karang dgn ayat yg baik tau! Agak2 bole dpt bonus 2-3 bln x? :-p)

Ada few system yg i could say 'dalam percubaan', and not sure berapa lama bertahan. Biasala, part system ni..sometimes when it's new...not reliable. Unless, diorg beli system ni. Aku pon xsure... sbb tgk email, try link tu, xdapat pulak. Huhuhu... agak2 pas aku masuk balik keje pas bersalin ape lg pembaharuan pd company ni. I hope dapat few more projects! Tu jekla, xmaula masuk...and still goyang kaki cm skang ni. Tp Alhamdulillah la, sebab time aku nk bsalin ni la, da nk end of project. Nothing much to do except part consulting je.

Aku mimpi semalam, company aku dpt sambung project dgn customer ni lg. GLC kn, so...lucky for our company, got project dari company besa ni. Lucky... if we really got to continue working with them. Dalam tgh2 mood bersalin, bole lg aku mimpi pasal keje kan? Komited kah??? ahhaha mungkin bosan dan rindukan kerja (euuww~~~ aku ker ni??)

Wah bagus btul mnaip ni, rasa pijau da kurang. Rasa numb jek... :p

Finally...

Finally!!! Finally!!! Few changes, it's no more rumours and finally the truth! It's about work and work and work and baby! Will be move out from cyberjaya ofis to Shah Alam, plus the rumors about vitB was no longer rumors! And Im 30w pregnant, caya x? pantassssss masa blalu!

This week adalah week yang sdikit membosankan. Keje da bkurang, byk yang ada pon technical part jek... and documentation sume will start nextweek. Jenuhlaaa nk mgarang ayat nnt. Skang adalah masa bsuka ria sementara pindah ke operation ofis at shah alam, coz now at customer site @cyberjaya. So, alhamudulillah... segalanya diatur dengan cantik. Mengapa kata cmtu? sebab..jeng3x tinggal lebih kurang 10w +/- 2 untuk menanti saat2 bersalin. Dekat2 nk bsalin ni, makin kerap ada check up, so dekat sket dengan rumah and hospital. Walaupon encik nizam still @cyberjaya, atleast yg nk bersalin ni dekat la kn... Even both keje @cyberjaya, xde pon carpool coz of routine keje yg berbeza. 

Anyway, lepas ni ada rombakan dlm org kt ofis, based on customer requirement of the new contract. Then, xsure lagi arah tuju diri ini lebih2 lg tgh sarat mcm ni, jgn ditendang mcm bola sudah...xpon nama tetiba xde dlm list staff... haahah bole x gtu? Ada yg mniaga tempe goreng dpn ofis! hahah *joking~ Just now bos ade tnya2 whether I nk stay @cyberjaya (as rep for the team, to assist customer needs)... Seriously, I just dont understand him most of the time. Firstly, Im not at the level of sr eng yet and 2ndly he knows that there are others that would volunteer to be @cyberjaya, rather than me sebab rumah meraka adalah lebih dekat jika bkerja disini bbanding @shah alam. Common sense kn? Mayb boss konfius yg I want to be closer to Encik Nizam or die ingt we went to work together...entah... I just dont know, dont understand. 

Soalan2nya memang selalu mengundang kemarahan sebab to me, soalan yg xperlu tnya or he'll end up dengan gelak2 sinis...hohhhhhhh... mmg geramla kn bila dgr gelak tu. Sabar jekla. But I just answer it direct and precise. No gelak, no senyum2...coz xmau melayan sgt. nnt die ajak bersembang pulak. :p xpela..asalkan I answered his Q, that'll be fine. Owh....another thing, sgt la risau, ape hala tuju pasni, assign to dept mana? who's my boss? nextweek, nk duduk mana? Most of us tgh berfikir2 jugak ni. 

Alhamdulillah, berita baik dan rezeki baby jugak...wpon xda rezeki bpindah company lg spt kawan2 lain...tapi rezeki 'vitB' (ayat dari Pn Farah) yang dcanang2 oleh kwn2 kerja telah dideclare oleh our big bos. InsyaAllah, ada rezeki tu...tp xde la mention byk mne... tp syukur tetap syukur. Alhamdulillah. Ada gak suara2 nk buat mkn2 kt ofis ni, but since kami kne move out...mcm xdpt nk proceed dgn plan tu. Seronok jugak kan, setelah sekian lama xbuat makan2 kt ofis. Bila dgr pasal 'vitB' ni, ramai pulak yg dah listkan 'wishlist' hahaha...funny! but biasala tu, lebih2 lagi bila dah bkeluarga, masa ni lah nk entertain family, buat kenduri ke, makan angin ke... Me? makan angin is not in the list. Mana la nk gi dgn perut yang sarat. Jalan dari parking kt ofis pon rasa mcm berjogging 2-3 pusingan...hahaha da mcm kura2 sebab bag lappy kt blkg.  ***mengata diri sdiri kuang2x... Even nk shopping for baby stuff pon, da xlarat sgt.. rasa2nya online aje laaa...seriously, penat! Masa motherhood expo haritu pon, awl2 lg da kibar bendera putih...mana xnya, ramainya org dengan stroller, preggy tummy pon berlaga2, xkurang dgn pakcik makcik yg nk bli brg untuk cucu... I give up nk pergi warehse sale or any sale at this condition.

Few things in my baby/momma checklist yang xcomplete lg. Kne bli cepat2...sebab malas nk jalan2 hahah... 10 weeks je tinggal and I only hv weekends! About 20days~!!

Aktiviti yang xsettle : 

• basuh baby stuff! (mana nk sidai baju bdk kicik ni? kalo xsempat..suruh cik bi dgn maksu hani laa eh :p)
• bli ampaian!!!
• basuh CD about 3x!
• sediakan bag for baby and momma!
• jemur tilam & bantal baby (hopefully weekend xhujan)
• sarung bantal/tilam - not done!harap2 sempatla siap jahit....
• pindah barang2 baby ke rumah atok&nenek (kuang3x..ya ampun, bsepahla umah atok&nenek nnt)
• to buy bpump / storage & accessories (penting before delivery! encik nizam sponser hikhik)
• cooler bag & accessories (this too...yer incik nizam :p )
• strilliser & warmer (littlebean @ warmerbear murah sket 'katanye'...)
• bakul baju baby for rumah s.alam & rumah atok&nenek (boleh letak brg irfan skali...kalo muat :p)
• nursing bra
• nursing pillow (tesco/giant pon hado) - ada yg ckp xnecessary but masa attend antenatal class, the counselor tu ckp, pillow tu boleh guna untuk baby yg mula blajar duduk...so..ok kot to buy. Carila yg worth to buy.

Owh2 tetiba byk pulak brg dlm preparation ni... pening pale~! hopefully dapat packing2 barang dengan segera sebelum baby keluar hikhhik lupa pulak nk share experience attending antenatal class! hehehhe

Semakin dekat, semakin kalut pulak... fuh2~ rilekssss....

 

The Direction

This morning.... my bos YM-ed me...

Bos :What's ur direction after this?

Me : What choice do I have? Can u just email the detail and then we can make our decision

Bos : I dont have the direction to do so... Do u want to do Technical & Analysis Reporting?

Me :  Isn't it the NOC dept job?

Bos : There's no more NOC after this... 

Me : Hurm...U are managing the reporting team aren't you?

Bos : It's not final. Mayb someone else.

Me : (Haih...putarbelit apekah ini?) I dont know what to choose and what choice I have, but I think I can try and manage to do it.

Bos : Or do u want to involve in testing or project management? 

Me : (I think I've asked u, what choice do I hv but u resist to give any option... then now what? Haduih letih laa) Er.. i dont know what to choose.

Bos : Pikir cepat...or nk buat solat istikharah?

Me : (Hahhaha it's funny...) I think I buat solat istikharah dlu la...(seriously...)

End.

Bole understand ke the conversation? This is a big thing. How can I make up my mind that fast....even so, what choice do I have. Am I angry at my bos? I would say Im not sure..coz he seems like unsure himself... But if it's not final, better not to discuss about it yet because it can cause a confusion... 

Actually, do I have to choose or the management has the right to assign me? Me...Konfius.

How can one expect others to understand what he's thinking?

I'm thinking and making decision...but what am I thinking? I dont know...

 

Ganjaran

Wang, Duit, Keuntungan ... Siapa yang xsuka kn? Terutama bila ia adalah hasil daripada titik peluh, penat lelah berkerja. Setiap tahun, ada saja company yang  telah meraih untung hasil dari perniagaan menunjukkan penghargaan pada setiap pekerjanya berdasarkan pernilaian prestasi dan komitmen yang dipamerkan pekerja tersebut. Begitu juga bagi setiap pekerja, menantikan sesuatu berita baik yang bakal memberikan impak pada prestasi kerja pada masa hadapan. Namun, xsemua mengapai apa yang diimpi, menerima berita baik ataupun dinilai prestasi walaupun setiap tahun memberikan komitmen terhadap kerjaya 100%. Itu semua bergantung kepada rezeki dan qada' dan qadar Allah. Kita sebagai umat-Nya hanya mampu redha, berserah dan serterusnya berusaha yang terbaik.

Perlukah ganjaran seperti itu diberikan? Wajarkah ganjaran itu dijadikan sebagai peransang pada setiap pekerja untuk memberikan komitmen untuk bekerja? Apa pendapat anda?

As for me, memang penting, perlu dan wajar sekali jika company itu menunjukkan dan memperolehi keuntungan pd tahun tertentu kerana ia juga adalah hasil daripada apa yang diusahakan para pekerja. Selain itu, dengan memberikan ganjaran pada pekerja, lebih2 lagi berdasarkan pernilaian prestasi ia dapat meningkatkan daya saing antara pekerja untuk bekerja dengan lebih tekun lagi. Jika tidak ada keuntungan berganda yang diperolehi sekali pon, sedikit sagu hati juga boleh diberikan sebagai tanda penghargaan atas budi bicara pihak atasan sesuatu company. Itu hanyalah satu pendapat. Bagi yang pernah mendapat ganjaran daripada pihak atasan, bersyukurlah dengan setiap rezeki yang diberikan. Bagi yang tidak pernah mendapat ganjaran itu, tidak semua rezeki diberikan Allah seperti yang kita inginkan kerana Dia mengetahui setiap sesuatu dan mungkin juga ia diberikan dalam bentuk yang lain. Yang penting, kita sentiasa bersyukur. Wallahua'lam.

Apa pun... berita dari pihak atasan sedang ditunggu oleh kawan2, samada mendapat berita baik atau sebaliknya...sama2 kita tunggu. Hanya pesanan, janganlah meletakkan harapan yang tinggi atas setiap perkara dan khabar angin yang disampaikan melalui sumber yang tidak sahih. Takut2 kecewa nnt.. :-) 

Alhamdulillah atas setiap rezeki dan rahmat yang diberikan oleh-Nya.

Job Hunting.Job Searching.Job Seeking

Early this morning, takla pagi mana kn~ time breakfast dgn officemate... sorang member ni baru pas dapat new job opportunity update katanya ade satu banking company ni nak pakai orang untuk set up or maintain their own network. So sekarang tengah mood hiring expert/experienced people in this field. Unfortunately, the hiring is through an agent and most probably its a contract position. Again... rasa macam penat jugakla bekerja di private sector yg offering contract position. But there's pro and cons kan, depends on the company itself, duration of contract, the offer. usually bila bercerita tentang contract position, people said that kita boleh demand on the salary...but actually it depends jugak pada company tu..., coz biasanya medical coverage pon xbanyak compared to permanent staff (of coz la kn). Disebabkan suda berumahtangga banyak jugak faktor perlu difikir dan dipertimbangkan...contoh lokasi tmpt kerja, working hours and so on. 

Oh lupa pulak nk cerita tentang situasi yang menyebabkan 'job hunting' topik ni dipost. Basically, working at sdn bhd company with contract position based on contractual project is the reason why most of us tgh searching for new job. For most of us, its already 2years and plus we've been working here and the contract will be ended next year. Few rumours been heard, tentang kontrak ni... but none yang patut dipercayai 100%. Tu yang penat sangat tu, sbb dengar kabar2 angin...adeihhh..

Tapi for the timebeing I have to hold dlu hasrat untuk hunting for 'the job' sebabkan suda berbadan dua (alhamdulillah, salah satu rezeki), Pas dari deliver my baby baru boleh start balik hunting and searching ini. anyway, betul ke company2 yang offer job ni xterima pregnant women means untuk attend interview, then they automatically rejected preggy mummies without even reviewing resume and the skills or experiences these women have? From my friend experienced, she has attended an interview bout few months before she got pregnant and when she got the offer pon masa tu she's at her 2months of her pregnancy. (dapat imagine x ape yang diceritakn ni??) anyway,(hahhah...malas nk explain) soon after dia accepted the offer and few days working, the HR call untuk confirm bout medical check up details. Mestila dengan rasa hepinya (coz da dpt keje baru, dengan senang hati bole btau pregnant kn? ) die updated her status and informed the HR personal xdapat nk buat X-ray (u know y la kn)... Ape yang my friend dapat ialah bebelan dr HR itu, 'kenapa u baru nk informed?'  and so on.....~~~~ memangla terguris hati kawan ku itu dipersalahkan akibat pregnant. Haih... tapi sebaik la diorg tak terminate my friend tu kn (mana bole terminate sesuka ati coz of pregnant!!! mara I tau hahah )

Setelah kejadian itu (sbnrnya sblm kejadian itu pon I da decide) I think, better to hold dlu hasrat mencari keje lain. Rezeki masih di company ni. Pinjam kata-kata semangat dr one of my friend 'I love my job'! Aduhhh.... 

Bersyukur, bersyukur dan bersyukur! Keep viewing!