Dah Mula Bosan

Ape nk jadi, br 19 hari bpuasa xkan bosan kot? Oooo bukan bosan dgn Ramadhan tp, rasanya da bosan dgn diri sdiri dan cuba mencari balik diri ni. Actually, sejak da jadi Ibu, life sebagai isteri makin xtertanggung dan xterjawab...maklumla, kembali berbadan dua. Miserable in conclusion. Susah nk bahagi masa, especially weekdays. 9am-8pm (max) daily... Suami akan bekerja smpi lewat mlm 1pg cmtu, depends pd kerja dan kudrat, Isteri mmg da collapse at that time penat mlayan kerenah si kecil yg lasak. Pg...isteri biasa akan bgn lg awl, depends pd tahap kerajinan... So di situ la kami kurang berkomunikasi ketika hari2 bkerja. Tapi alhamdulillah, anak ni yg jadi pengikat kami, penceria dan pengubat hati kami. 

Apa yg Si Ibu@Isteri ni bosankn? rasanya LIFE. yup... rasanya nk mbuat sesuatu perubahan selepas dari bersalin anak ke-2 nnt, InsyaAllah dgn izin-Nya. Semuanya senang, tp xmudah... merubah sesuatu yg menjadi rutin. I want to learn something and make use of my time wisely. Malaysia da masuk dlm chart 10 negara termalas didunia. If im not mistaken. Tp bukan sebab ni, sbb da byk dgr ceramah kt IKIM.FM, TV... merenung balik diri sdiri. Org zaman dolu2, zaman rasulullah s.a.w. , dan selepasnya... ahli2 fikir zaman tu mempunyai kecenderungan yg bak kata omputih 'well-rounded'... bukan specific to one thing. Tp berbeza zaman sekarang, org kita malas...kalau dia bkerja mkn gaji..itu ajelah die buat. Kalo graduate engineering@ account etc... ke arah itu saja la yg akan diusahakn nya.Sebenarnya manusia ni banyak ada byk kebolehan, dr segi mental @ physical skills.

So, aku rs aku nk buat 'COBAAN' ke atas kebolehan yg aku xpasti...ade ke x ni. aku nk belajar menjahit... kikikiki Tgk Pn Asna pon da start mjahit, aku pon jd excited! Ok Over excited.... heheheh!!!! Xsabar rasanya untuk masuk rumah baru and start my 'new trial'. I pray to Allah, hope that everything went well, dan COBAAN ni bukan setakat omong kosong. Biasala manusia ...on and off.. Tp harap, semangat tu mbara2...flaming hot mcm ayam nandos :p ***uuu sedapnye***

Xsabarnye....=)

Ramadhan Ooo Ramadhan

14 Ramadhan, pejam celik dah hampir 2minggu berpuasa... 1 hari suda tumbang, disebabkn xsahur. Coz ade experience penah xsahur masa pregnant ni mbuatkn badan mgigil2...then i just proceed with keputusan xpuasa. Kan ade rukhsah bg wanita menyusukan dan mgandung bg tidak berpuasa. Allah itu Maha Mengetahui dan Menyayangi hamba-Nya.

Berbezanya tahun ni dengan yang sebelum2nya... Thn ni, kali ke-3 berpuasa sebagai Isteri, kali ke-2 sbg ibu dan kali pertama dlm keadaan pregnant di bulan ramadhan. =) Cabaran bpuasa tahun ni lebih besar sebab pregnant dah minggu ke 32++ tp alhamdulillah sedikit keringanan dan hikmah susu badan dah xde, xmyusukan Nabilah lg. Xtaula mcmana ibu2 kt luar sana dlm bulan ramadhan ni bpuasa, myusukan, dan pregnant dalam masa yang sama. Memang kagum! Hebat dan Tabah!!! Aku skang ni pon blk umah je da lembik sebenarnye, tp gagahkn jugak diri untuk bantu2 kat dapur.

As previous year, ayah mertua mmg akan myediakn juadah (apa yg mampu disediakn) depends pd masanye, kadang2 masak, kadang2 beli. My SIL pon ada, (coz we're still living at my FIL hse) whoever yg ada kt rumah, will provide dan kemas2 la ape yg patut. Pd keadaan aku skang nk bmalas2 pon xboleh...maklumla kita duduk kt umah org kn, segan la pulak. tp dlm condition skarang nk paksa diri nnt sdiri yg pengsan. Harap2 mereka faham. Harapla sgt. ***Kalo xphm.... saya redha*** uhuhuhuh 

Pemakanan bagi wanita pregnant ni sangat penting, mula2 haritu before ramadhan lg, I da start bpuasa ***puasa ganti*** plus sebagai persediaan utk sambut Ramadhan ni. Takut2 xlarat...nk tgk kemampuan, maklumla sentiasa rasa lapar je. Tp Alhamdulillah.... syukur pd Allah. Mcm xpercaya... bjaya jugak habeskn 13hari puasa ganti before Ramadhan. Dengan izin Allah jugak, makanan sunnah yg diamalkn tu mmg mberi kesan positif sepanjang berpuasa. Im the type yg susah sket nk jamah nasi time bsahur, i usually drink a glass of plain water je. Tp bcause of my husband ni jenis yg mjaga pemakanan, makanan yg sihat dan sunnah...so sikit2 I pon terikut2. Nak xnk kan..cuba je pada mulanya. Mmg syukur, lepas amalkn dapat bertahan walaupun hanya dengan segelas susu kambing, kurma dan jus Tok Guru. My husband ahli HR Marketting tu, so Susu Kambing HR la jd pilihan kami. Kalau bminat bolehla cuba. Tp semuanye depend pd selera seseorg dan kembali pd-Nya...atas Izin-Nya.

Tahun lepas rasanya masa berbuka puasa paling mcabar, sbb myusukn Nabilah, then, masih berpantang makan. Disbbkn duduk rumah FIL, my FIL xberapa tau sgt pasal pantang ni...maklumla lelaki. Xingtla ape yg I dapat mkn dlu... ala kadar je bbuka. Tahun ni, pregnant pulak, mmg selera pon xseberapa. My FIL mmg pandai masak, bak kata dia 'masak ikut selera sdiri'. Tp Alhamdulillah bole la mkn, kdg2 dia rajin jugak belajar dr kawan resipi2 yg die bkenan. Masakan feveret FIL kebanyakkn berunsur santan mcm kari, masak lemak cili padi. Bab masak lemak cili padi I mmg suka jugak, tp bapak mertua suka masak ikan keli + rebung***ttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttttt*** I dun like, ntah sbb ape..tp kalo die goreng tu kdg2 bole la telan, mayb sbb garing kot. I dun ike lembik2. Dalam banyak2 die masak I suka die masak daging masak itam. Maveles!!! Errr pe lg, ayam goreng utk nasik ayam tu.... Uih maveles laaa ***bulan2 posa ni kalo ckp pasal mknn isk2 laju jek kn***

Xdapat imagine kalo nnt da pindah rumah sdiri, bole cope ke dgn kerja, anak2, kerja rumah, memasak eh... I mmg suka mmasak, da xsabar nk ada dapo sdiri tau! Da berangan mcm2 tp xtaula...akan masak atau x???!!! Confirmla masak kn! Husband I kdg2 rajin gak request. Aaaaa excitednye nk ade dapo sdiri, nk masak lauk ikot suka hati. Pandai masak tu idak ler, tp sbb rasa nk mkn mcm2 suka la nk cuba2. Hehehe 

Doakan kami berjaya dgn rumah kami nnt. Dalam process insyaAllah. Tp banyak yg perlu diselesaikn sbelum bpindah. Proses biasa... rumah lama kn. hehehhe xde aral, ujung thn @ thn depan plg awl masuk rumah. InsyaAllah.Will be missing memori duduk di rumah FIL bsama2 my ILs. Pahit manis pon ditelan jugak...semua pon adelah lumrah kehidupan..warna warni org kata.

Semoga kita semua berjumpa lg dengan Ramadhan tahun hadapan. Dengan Izin-Nya..Amin.

Baby's not a Baby anymore

Lama sudah xupdate blog. Xde feel nk type or share anything. I just dont feel like to do it. Mayb bcause so many things happened at this time of year. Rasa my life pon a bit misserable. Change of workplace/company, SIL wedding xlama lg, planning on buying a house (xnew pon... but Alhamdulillah! We're lucky to get to buy one), spending most of spare precious ti with my 'baby' which i could say lil baby is not a baby anymore. She's already 1 Yo. Plus, xlama lg jengjengjeng akan dpt adik. Im already at 32W of pregnancy.

That's the news. Im again, me.... pregnant! 8Months already kn.... uhuhuu Alhamdulillah, im able to BF my lil baby Nabilah for about 7-8months. Until then, susu pon da xde. Ups and Downs...Stressed at the time, why my milk production merudum.***Blur*** Stress*** We ***husband and I**** not even prepare Nabilah for any formula milk.Pity my lil baby. Masa tu only Allah Knows how i'm feeling, all this while, bf my lil baby....then immediately hv to change to FM. I've no choice though. 

I've asked around about my milk production yg merudum, then they just assume that i might be pregnant! I cant even imagine at the time...what if its true.My period pon not in a regular state.... even before pon mmg mcm ni.It's hard to convince others that what u've been through.... Im a bit dissapointed,  at the time my milk production xbyk tu, husband keep pushing me to pump more frequent. Ok...I tried...but 2oz a day 8am-5pm (3-4 times of pumping) 2oz?????!!! mmg xlogik. So, I just want to be prepared, caused simpanan susu pon xbyk lg...propose to husband to get a FM for Nabilah. At the time, he refuse a few times... ***Sabar je la masa tu ***  After my husband sdiri saksikn and convince that my milk mmg xcukup utk Nabilah, then only...we got her the FM. Masa tu Nabilah mmg mnangis kelaparan. I can feel my B xfull, usually we can feel that our B producing milk when we keep on BF/pump. But... it has not happen anymore. Tired.

To find the rootcause of my milk mystery, I asked my hubby to buy 'the test kit'.... Later find out, 2 lines.... hurmmm.... ***Happy, Sad, Dissapointed, Yeay, Im not ready, A boy mayb???*** I just dont feel like to express my feeling. Just thinking bout my lil baby. ***sedey kn???*** But who are we to refuse? Who are we to questioned our fate? I just have to thank Allah, mayb He has something for us later. A baby, it's just wonderful actually! Nabilah will get a new friend! ***HappyHappy***

32 Weeks. I havent prepared anything ***bag*** and even baju baby pon xbasuh lg. hurm, few things lg xbli. Hopefully sempatla. Coz, skarang ni our hse a bit bz, SIL getting married on this coming sept. So... schedule pon da byk lari.... Xmau komen lebih2. uhuhuhuh I just have to get ready and prepared myself, baby and Nabilah.

Not a baby anymore uhuhuhuh

Happy Fasting*Happy Break-Fasting*Happy Ramadhan

Everyone has a Limit

Entry harini lebih pada sesi luahan perasaan akibat dah lama aku pendam, tapi aku cuba olah ayat tu dengan lebih rasional supaya tidak terlalu emosional dan keterlaluan. Maklumlaaaa nama pon sesi luahan perasaan, berat sebelah pulak ceritanya. Emosi yang kurang stabil ni disebabkan faktor2 belum dapat kerja lain kot, so aku rasa agak tertekan sket akibat tempoh kontrak pon dah nak tamat, kerja pon hampir 3thn without any increment pon 1hal. Ok aku rasa part tu aku xpayah sentuhla kan, sebab rezeki tu Allah yg tentukan. *** Nampak sangat aku xbersyukur*** Astaghfirullah..... biasalah manusia, keinginan tinggi, tapi yang sedia ada tu xpenah bersyukur... rezeki kesihatan, kehidupan bahagia tanpa bala bencana, boleh beramal dan beribadat.... ***isk isk.... beristighfar jap *** 

Back to the point, aku mula rasa ketidakselesaan kt ofis yang maksima. Mana taknya, bayangkan kita datang ofis, untuk berkerja ***xboleh blah skema*** bagi yg ada kerja tu siapkan kerja, bg yang xde tu bawala diri 'google'ing, 'yahoo'ing', 'facebook'ing etc atleast laa kan. And if nk bersembang u better keep your voice at the lowest volume as possible. Haaa...the condition is different here, kalo sampai bukak pintu tu... da dgr suara bergebang. Ok fine, after 10-20 minutes it happen, diorg ni akan rest for awhile and sambung lagi bergebang. Depends on topics discussed, if yesterday is a public holiday @ somebody from the group was on leave, so the story will become interesting until they cant stop talking and laughing.

Its weird how they can maintain the energy to chat for a long time, i would prefer sitting down quietly at my place and do my thing, whatever it is. Nak kata aku pendiam tu tidak, but the office i think not a place for me nk chit chat cmtu. Kalo yer pon nk bersembang out of office time breakfast, lunch @ teatime. Diorg ni sangatla tidak respect others privacy, sebab bukan aku saja yg tak selesa but ramai... Sometimes ada yg tegur2 jugak, but how can we expect people to change? Macam kedai kopi dah rasa. Haihhhh

And another thing yang merimaskan aku ialah honestly, aku suka mendengar and sometimes i will share my stories gak. But I dont know why...this person really annoyed me. Salah dia atau salah aku yang menyebabkan aku rimas, I dont know either, sebab tiap kali aku terfikir pasal nak pergi keje jek aku dah demotivate coz aku akan jumpa dia. Macamana keadaan tu merimaskan? You could imagine sampai2 jek ofis then there go someone who'll wait for u until u stop doing ur work, just for breakfast. Xsempat pon nk bukak outlook... ***kadang2laaa*** and masa tu jugakla dia bukak mulut nk ajak bersembang. FYI, aku akan amek time, before I start anything. Aku akan diam beberapa minit.... I just need my time and the silence...

Bukan aku xsuka bersembang dgn dia, tapi aku rasa dia banyak sesi luahan perasaan, lebih beremosi, pastu asyik bercerita pasal husband so...aku rimas. Aku mcm jadi stress dgn cerita2 tu aku xboleh tahan. Memang dia bawak negative energy pada aku. So, kadang2 bila dia nk bercerita, aku tend to buat xlayan or bg respon yg biasa je without asking anything. Macam rude kan? But mmg masa tu aku dah annoyed sgt so, before aku bawak negative energy balik rumah baik aku stop dia.

Kesimpulannya, mayb diorg tgk aku macam org yang bole bawak sembang2 tapi aku xsuka sangat sembang2 cm 'akak salu buat kt surau' tu. Bukannya ape, aku xsuka bingit2 kot. Kt rumah @ bilik xpe, sembang ringan2 xpe, but bukan sesi luahan perasaan.... Im Sorry.

Maaf kepada sesiapa yang terasa, bukan nk burukkan sesiapa sebab xda nama disebut. Everyone has a limit.

Harimau Vs Garuda

Title itself already explain everything. Full of drama is all i could say. Pasukan Malaysia, known as Harimau Muda turun dgn gagah di padang lawan at SEA games, final against Indonesia team. Overall a fair play, though there were times yg pemain Malaysia dikasari ***obvious weh!!!!*** and the referee pon salu xendah sgt team Malaysia, but sangat membanggakan adalah kerana "OUR PLAYER" main dengan penuh profesional... even da tergolek ***dan tergolek dan tergolek*** but we still boleh bangun dan mengejar bola. ***IM PROUD!!!*** Rasanya, kualiti permainan dan pemain2 bola sepak negara kita, Malaysia dah semakin baik. Why I say so, if kita tgk Piala Malaysia la kn, compare.... kadang2 tu geram jek tgk, pemain tunggu bola smpai kt kaki baru nk lari! Penah tengok cmni x? ***Dah tengok banyak kali kot*** But, now tengok kualiti permainan kita, they have improved a lot!!!

Game yg sangat sengit dan lama even got extra time pon nobody score a goal ***offside goals adela*** and end up dengan penalty kicks. Malaysia won!!! Tahniah juga pada pemain2 dari team Indonesia, kerana mempamerkan permainan yang baik. Bak kata Vince AF1, "Kita semua adalah pemenang, Tiada pengalah"...  Anyway, I have nothing much to comment but proudly say that We're the winner! Alhamdulillah, maybe we deserve it, our team deserve to win. Hope they do well in other games too. *** Semangat xterkata tengok bola semalam*** 

Of coz, Malaysians are really happy today, lots of discussion today and all about the game. Hehehe nothing else. The crazy match. Besides the story of our winning, there is a story behind the game that all of us xsangka @ Berita Jakarta. Sad story indeed...sesuatu yg kita xmahu terjadi walaupun di negara sendiri.

BERITAJAKARTA.COM — 11/21/2011 11:21:46 PM

Reckless action done by supporters of Indonesia. after sucessfully break the door of the sector III and V, apparently hundreds of fans who do not have tickets also break down the door XV sector of the Bung Karno Main Stadium (SUGBK). As a result of this unrest, dozens of people reportedly were injured, two people reportedly were killed, and six others had to be rushed to Mintohardjo hospital, Central Jakarta, Monday (21/11).

One body was identified as Reno (20) residents of Cililitan, East Jakarta. Another victim has not been identified. By medical officers, the bodies of both victims put into an ambulance which was parked around the door XV. Ironically, the two bodies were in a state of hurt. "I separate with Reno. I`m looking for him, but he died already," said Helmi, a cousin of Reno when met at the door SUGBK XV, Monday (21/11).

Helmi explained, when the victim and he have a ticket to get into the stadium. However, because the audience exploded at last they jostle each other. Helmi did not know what to do at this time.

Meanwhile, as many as six people who were injured taken to Mintoharjo hospital. "Today there are as many as six people who were hospitalized and suffered serious injuries in the head," said Matsani, one of the officers Mintohardjo Hospital Emergency Room, when contacted by reporters on Monday ( 21/11).

When taken to the hospital, an unidentified boy was wearing a red shirt Indonesia national team. "He suffered internal injuries," he said. Until now, he added, there is no family or relatives who waited for the boy.

In addition to these boys, there are five other spectators who are also undergoing treatment in Mintoharjo hospital. They are Husein M Arsyad (24), Ikman Suryaman (22), Dirga Santoni (38), Titi (36), and a man of unknown identity.

Im Proud to be Malaysian! Malaysia Boleh!!!

5 MO

Assalamualaikum kwn2 semua. I've been missing this blogging thing, currently busy dgn mcari kerja, interview dan daily routine smpikan xda masa nk update any news. Now Nabilah hampir mcecah 5MO, alhamdulillah masih fully BF. Tp....even sudah 5bulan, perut itu xmau kempis~~ uuuu sgtla runsing dan mganggu jiwa raga hokey!!!

Progress baby da pandai meniarap, and her saliva running like crazy...adoiii penat btul nk lap. Pastu, da start nk main2 and kluar jalan ***xnk duduk dlm bilik, cepat bosan***. Dia da recognize familiar face to her and even kalo talking to her dia mcm fhm ape yg dikatakan. Alhamdulillah. Mmg seronok, tiap kali nk hantar gi umah bbsitter mesti peluk cium dlu dlm kete ***lama2*** pesan kt dia to be a goodgirl before keluar kete. ***sobsob*** Grabbing and touching things to mmg dia suka especially colourful things... kalo suka sgt tu smpi mjerit2 adoiii excited btul!

The thing with me is im feeling annoyed with the flabby tummy and the stretchmarks... Really want the old me..uhuk2 i mean physically. Tp itula pengorbanan seorg ibu kn? We got a baby along with the extras whatever it's call. I've tried few of slimming wear but ada yg xberapa sesuai and xselesa... ***sigh*** I've been thinking of trying PB, after reading a few review from frens and blogger. The price what is concerning me...heheh of coz la kn, gaji ciput tp nak cantik....hahahhaah cmne tu???!!!!! 

Anyway, after reading wanie nasir testmonial, terseru kejap pasal menda ni after for so long tertangguh....hurm. Nnt i inform whether or not i afford@get to hv this PB. 

Actually Im in the situation of 50-50 of my current job. 1stly coz it's a contract position, and the company itself in a transforming phase internally, having the company without any project for a year its my concern and also as my contract will be ended on early of february 2012. Should I or should i not searching for new job is really stressful and tiring, coz its already end of the year,,usually company tgh freeze their recruitment team for headcount. Xbyk sgt job yg ada, position yg sesuai and plus2 i've to consider the place near my hse@bbsitter hse@tmpt xjam. Huhuhuuh mmg xbyk. 

i've got a few interviews but all failed. It's not my fate. I got this last chance ***what i could say*** the position is really suited me well, but whether or not it'll be mine...nextweek i'll update insyaAllah. A goodnews, yesterday i've been assigned to a special project, to transform the company... the percentage that my contract will be extend is high.... Owhh..Allah, please show and guide me. Im hopeless without your guide.Ya Allah the most merciful i am your hopeless servant...

My BF Story

Tbaca Piya punya blog pasal bf, aku pon nk story bout mine. Alhamdulillah, Nabilah dah mcecah ke 3bulan, begitulah jugak tempohnya aku BF nabilah. Syukur aku dapat BF exclusive, without any FM involvve. Lucky me...and pity them to those yg xberapa bernasib baik. Before bersalin aku pikir nk BF ni cm senang, but thru reading ade gak org yg ade problem... i wonder why kn... but actually xsemudah itu. You have to fully prepared physically, mentally, emotionally. Kiranya kne berjiwa KENTAL la kan sebab banyak dugaan yang akan mendatang, kita xketahui. Mayb not now but later...who knows.

As I said just now, awlnya aku mmg xde problem utk BF nabilah, but now...aku sudah mula kusut bila nabilah xnak menyusu. Direct BF mmg dia boleh terima but not by bottle. Mayb sebab da sedap menyusu badan sminggu lebih time cuti raya hari tu. Kesian la kt pengasuh dia, nk menghadap si kecik ni yg kalo mnangis hhuhuh sgt nyaring skali suaranya. Aku dapat bayangkan... Adusss sedey tu aku pikir2 balik nabilah xmyusu. Bayangkanla...aku anta dia pukul 10, amek dalam kol 6++ yang diminum cuma 1botol,2oz susu... biasanya bulan puasa, kalo aku anta kol 10 sampai kol 5cmtu abesla 3botol. ***jgn tnya apsal g keje kol 10 ahahha***

Seriously sikit dia minum. Aku sebagai ibu ni, xda la rasa tguris hati ke hape, cuma risaula kan dia xmau minum susu botol. Tu pon bila dia dh betul2 lapar br minum. Tiap kali amek dia, dia dah knal kan ibu dia...mula la buat muka sedey...nangis. Sedey kne tinggal, rindu kat ibu. Aku cm nk mnetes air mata ***uuhuhu syahdu weh, touching tu*** Tp kne kental la kn, xkan nk mnangis kt umah pengasuh tu pulak kan?! Sengal jek~ Sian kt nabilah, dia xmau accept botol. Aku try baca kt forum susu ibu, dia suggest bg gak, but try bberapa approach la.

1) Guna botol tapi disusukan oleh orang selain ibu. Sebabnya baby dah set yang bila dia dgn ibu, dia akan direct BF + texture nipple tu dia dh tau.

2) Change bottle nipple kepada nipple latex leper. Dikatakan ia seakan2 nipple semulajadi. Havent try yet...

3) Cup feeding but ada a few kata baby xkenyang. I dont know...x try lg.

Ada pulak org yg suggest suruh bg FM, WT* hahha xmcarut ok... bukan aku mrendah2kan FM ni tapi rasanya belum terdesak lg kot and problem tu sebenarnya with bottle nipple and xde kaitan dgn susu pon. Sebab Nabilah menyusu spt biasa bila direct BF, and gudnews is lebih kerap dari selalu...mayb terlalu lapar. Boleh kata about an hour and so...dia akan menyusu. ***Ibu's Gudgirl mmg bijak*** Hurm masalah tetap masalah, pening aku xsenang duduk kt ofis tpikir si kecik menyusu tak. Anyway, i'll try 2nd method dlu, let's see how it goes. Hopefully and I pray that nabilah bole accept la kan.. Amin!!!

Hati tak senang adeihhhh