June 28... That makes 18 days old my lil Nabilah Insyirah and alhamdulillah start BF since the first day. Of Coz la kena kan, encik Nizam memantau aku hikhik! Lgpon, napela xsusu bdn jek...bila tu rezeki tcipta untuk anak yg comel dan mungil kn. Bila tgk baby tu, trus rs nk BF jek walaupon before *time pregnant* xdela sesemangat itu. And kami *Encik Nizam and Me* pon xpenah decide and discuss anything on buying FM for our baby. Erm nk kata exclusively BF xtaula cmne term tu kn...tp ade cmpur sikit dgn air zam2 time awl2 tu coz kne jaundis... Itu salah satu usaha jek. Tp progress, alhamdulillah...Nabilah behave well, and sihat wal afiat skrg. Kuning pon xde Alhamdulillah.
Cite pasal BF ni, time pregnant dlu rajin gak baca pasal ni utk tmbah ilmu didada. Ramai kata 1st to 3rd day, susu badan xde, so kne tabah sket la untuk BF. Aku sgt2 bsyukur, atas galakan family and especially of coz Encik Nizam, aku boleh harungi semua ni. Aku rasa mayb sebab aku 'slow' sket kot hahhah bukan slow ape, cm blur... so aku follow jek la ape org kata, ape org buat..utk yg terbaik. Aku pon direct BF jek nabilah walaupon xsure ade susu ke x...yg pasti usaha aku tu untuk diri aku dan baby. Dlu tfikir gak pasal malu untuk BF ni, tp when baby ade depan mata...automatically i want to BF my baby! Kuasa Allah... hati wanita mjadi lembut bila jadi ibu kn.
Tempoh berpantang juga sudah mencecah 2weeks plus! And I can say it's hard without my hubby around. Sape yg penah merasai, tau la kn. Bukan nk gedik ke hape tp u hv spend a lot of time together ms pregnancy then for nearly 2months cuti bsalin tu...he's not around. Rs pelik sketla...but Alhamdulillah my Mak ade for the first week, and I hv to be independent for the rest of cuti bsalin holiday except for weekends. But gladly, ade la org kt rumah tlg2 masak and bantu ape yg patut...Thanks to my sis and abah. Xtcapai akal ku cmne aku nk survive alone, when it's only a week after bsalin.
In about two more weeks time, akan ada checkup for baby and Ibu. Xdapat imagine nk bawak Nabilah keluar jalan2 for the first time...
10th June 2011, date yg dipilih utk force labour.. should I be happy or not, i'm not so sure at the time. But Allah itu Maha mendengar doa hambanya. Segalanya dipermudahkan... segalanya bemula pd tarikh ini juga.
At about 5 something A.M. - rs cm xbole tdo, then... rs sesuatu keluar. I just still stay in bed, waiting until subuh prayer. But then, something happen... terasa a rush of water overflow, like im pee-ing heavily. My water broke. Air ketuban pecah, 'ter'lompat jap dr katil, konon nk elak basah, tp mmg da basah pon... Abes basah lantai dgn air jernih itu. Tkejut encik nizam dgn lompatan aku tu... hahha mne taknye, ape kejadahnye nk mlompat pg2 and time pregnant kn?! Encik Nizam pon decided kitorg ke hospital after solat, and I just agreed. Xsakit pon air ketuban tu pecah, but the contraction became more frequent.
7.30 or so we are on our way to DEMC. Dekat sgt hospital tu dgn rumah...about 5-10min je. Sampai2, encik Nizam trus parking at parking lot, xtrus ke emergency room... logik gakla kn. Aku xsakit sgt and nothing to rush. So, we walked in the hospital trus ke level 2, the labour room. Trus diarah ke bilik labour, then kalo xsilap bidan yg standby mlm dtg trus buat VE and CTG. Aku ingt xingt dah...rsnya mayb dalam 2-3cm da dilate.
At about 8-9 aku diberi breakfast, ubat mbuang... after that came the water drip cucuk sana sini....and also bila tgk aku da sakit2 tu, doc propose to take a pain killer, bukan bius tu. Xsama.. heheh but the pain still remain. Aku pon xphm nape dipanggil pain killer. Aku dok bertawakal zikir sume, assist by encik Nizam disisi... Family aku telah diinform just after aku admitted so...mayb at that time diorg on their way.
1130 Nurse masuk bilik to cek my progress, pd mulanya expected to deliver at evening about 2-3 pm. But hati aku xsenang, maklumla hari Jumaat,tkejar2 pulak encik nizam nk solat lg. bdoa2la aku agar segalanya mudah. Bg aku, Encik Nizam dan semua org. Nurse ckp, da fully dilate. 10cm.... WOW cepat, aku pon xsangka, nurse xsangka, Encik Nizam xsangka...but Allah itu Maha Mengetahui segala sesuatu. Alhamdulillah, aku bsyukur dlm hati walaupon tgh sakit2 tu.. dgn harapan cepatla kesakitan itu berakhir dan agar Allah mbantu aku yg dah xbdaya sgt2 time tu. Nurse already in their position untuk assist aku. Push2... xingtla berapa kali aku dok push2 but... adela dlm 45min, br nurse kata...da nmpk rmbut. And at the time, doc masuk, I hv only about 15min jek lg untk push2... diorg mmg extimate 1hour je ke untuk normal labour, im not sure. Masa doc masuk, smgt sket nk push but still, masa tu sbb da xcukup tenaga...
1224pm Lahirla baby kedunia with vacum assist. Alhamdulillah berjaya normal without epidural or any of the drugs *except pain killer* Alhamdulillah, hanya Allah saja yg tau perasaan aku sebab aku xpercaya aku sama ada aku bole lakukannya atau tidak. Im not sure myself. Bdn terasa penat beberapa hari before bsalin, xcukup tdo. And lepas bberapa kali usaha push2 tu, aku tawakal je...
Genap 40 weeks! Hebat... Xsangka plak boleh cecah smpi 40 weeks, and xsemua org bole buat rekod ni :p Anyway, today suppose to be my EDD but baby still 'attached' inside me. Susah btul nk menaip, xsenang duduk... trasa sakit punggung duduk lelama. InsyaAllah, harini jugak will be my last day blogging before masuk labor room as mentioned in my previous entry.
Perasaan nk di admit esok adelah tidak terluah. Tawakal jekla kan. Lagipon, xkan nk bg baby duk terperap dlm perut ni lelama, sdiri pon xselesa as baby is getting bigger & stronger day by day. Tomorrow encik nizam will start his paternity leave, just for 3days including public holidays, it's just not fair rite? Mne la sempat nk uruskan segala bagai urusan especially when it's on public holiday, JPN pon lom tentu bukak... ***ok fine, ade yg bukak on weekends!*** Xpela, Alhamdulillah, dapatla bcuti gak..
Lgpon nextweek Encik Nizam schedule already packed with training, mayb the whole week...not sure. Da lama xdtg keje kan. hehehe agaknya bosan gak encik nizam bkeje kt rumah. Atleast bkeje tu dapat cuci mata tgk pmandangan bbanding tperap kt rumah. And another thing, hopefully baby sihat wal afiat semasa and selepas dilahirkan, coz nnt duk kt umah my parents. Biasa baby kne jaundis@demam kuning kan... risau jugak. Nk ulang alik ke spital ke... hurm...sebaik xla jauh sgt. Harap baby sihat...
To M2B @ those yg baru deliver baby, ade ke perasaan cm aku neh... 'cmne la rupa baby nnt?' ahahha ikut muka sape... hehhehe kelakar gak bila pikir tau. Sebab cm trauma bila tgk org muka sama dgn kita. Ahahhah of coz la, itu anak kita tp...xleh bayangkan :-p Semalam punya la xdpt nk tdo, agak smpi kol 3 tjaga, tgk tv smpi lebam. Perut plak rasa xsedap... kencing rasa xlawas, kurang minum air kot. Asek gi toilet jek...
Ok, persediaan sebelum esok adelah, aku perlu bsedia mental fizikal utk berada di hospital, baca buku ape yg patut pasal baby and breastfeeding and so on. Oh... ade lg, make a final check beg ke hospital. =) Owh ade lg... mintak mahap bebyk kt sesape, **terutama skali Encik Nizam ***sbb salu degil***, parents, family, fren, blog fren... and whoever yg wujud dimuka bumi ni. Nnt nk start online blog blk xtau bila, and update... InsyaAllah.
Menghabeskan sisa masa yg ada. Itu jek yg aku bole ckp. Perasaan pon bercampur baur especially when the 'time' has been decided, and it's a no surprise anymore. but anything can happen kan? InsyaAllah, may everything goes well. Bila time dah decide, so actually all I need to do is preparing... physically and mentally. Kalut rasa fikiran bila pikir2 balik cam nk sit for exam or waiting for exam results, er...gitu2 la suspennya. Memang bila pikir2, aku prefer it would be a surprise sebab when the time comes, u dont even have a choice but to face it. Maknanya... aku tpaksa redha.
Hurm...anyway, maybe its the only way, baby pon xnk kua before due. Too comfortable =) Anyway, i'll miss all the moment though... For sure! Especially when being treated nicely and have someone by urside all the time. Baby akan keluar xlama lg, InsyaAllah dengan izin-Nya. Am I happy or what??? Just wait until D-Day. Aku xdapat imagine how can I endure the pain but praying that Allah is always by myside, helping me out.. it's such a relief. Then, when baby da kluar...how will I react... hahhah Im a mother, I've become a mother... and so...there she is, my daughter. (If the doc prediction is correct) Hurm... then 'she'll' be a boy. No problem...
Too much thinking pon xelok jugak kan, it doesnt help. Kne banyak2 berdoa, mayb bsembang2 dgn org...but aku duk rumah...encik Nizam pon bz keje, aku dok mlayan tv and lappy. xde chatting sgt pon, but if my sis ade online, br kaco2 die :-p Maklumla da hampir 3minggu woo xbalik rumah myParents...mati kutu rasanya. Atleast bila balik tu, dapat ler kaco2 org kan. Ipan pon da lama xjumpa, sobsob. Ape kabar ler budak 'Kagem' tu! Hoping to see them soon, as soon as baby da kua. =) Tapi nnt, bpisah plak dgn Encik Nizam... =( Owh... I dont like.
Harap dapatla encik Nizam spend time with 'US' baby & ibu after bersalin, even for few days... but cam banyak jek aral coz of ade tanggungjawab lain pulak. hurm... bila pikir2 rasa demotivated tp... nk buat cmne, just hoping that he'll be there when I need him. He's been my courage eversince the marriage and the pregnancy thing, tetiba xde adeih...pulak tu dgn ade baby pulak. Yup, I hv my family there to support me also. Thanks to them! But it's different when u're missing ur special someone on the important day. And of coz, baby needs her ayah too, and hope that though he cant always be by our side, jgn lupa jenguk kami nnt. =( uhuhuh dekat je pon ***minta simpati***
Besar tanggungjawab bila baby suda lahir nnt and dalam kepala aku dok pikir, cukup tdo ke nnt...even now pon xcukup tdo. Masa tdo pon da berterabur.... kdg2 kol 2, xdpt tdo lg, and sempat lg tgk tv and makan. bgn subuh, then xle tdo balik...tpaksa bjaga akibat lapa... then kol 8 da ngantuk pulak. adeih. Breakfast adalah roti @ biskut..ape jek yg ade. Encik Nizam pon tpaksa la telan ape jek yg ade...kesian. Da xterurus.. Tapi, lunch time aku jaga yer. Maklumla, breakfast light cmtu...mesti cpt lapar. Dalam kol 1 tu, makesure lunch is ready to be serve..bila encik Nizam nk makan, it's up to him sebab schedule keje sgt packed kdg2. Nearly 2minggu gakla encik Nizam teman kt rumah, WFH. Alhamdulillah. Adela peneman dikala kebosanan walaupon dgr suara aje kt bilik sebelah, dok bermeting2...
Esok will be 40Weeks of my pregnancy! =) Then, it's no more counting. Penat gak mgira. Kami pon just tunggu hari Jumaat je sebenarnya...sebab sign of early labor before due is like 1% (suka2 jek letak %). On and Off aje sakitnya, not consistent. Tu yg aku ckp % sikit. Pray for me, baby and us!Actually semalam after checkup, nurse pon da book our Friday morning utk aku admitted and we also hv met the admission PIC untuk reviewing our needs for the day, it's not a booking actually. Just a confirmation je. So, I'll be AFK and also my blog. cuma bole access FB saja. Okla tu. We havent tell anyone yet, even my parents, sebab awl lg. Then, mak will be worried sick sbb aritu ms doc buat VE and try to like 'force' pbukaan pon, die da cm nk naik angin. hahahha adeih nyesal aku btau. Anyway, nnt da btul2 ready, br btau...sebab ari jumaat, keje. Biala mak keje dgn tenang and me& encik Nizam settled down. <<<bak kata encik nizam hikhik maklumla, aku nih kalut aje! =p
Mau kira lg atau sudah2 la tu??? Ahahha abeskan jekla 40Weeks tu kn, nnt aku bentila kira. 2 hari jek lg pon. Doc pon td bg aku smpi khamis jek kalo x...jumaat aku kne benti kira. Ok nnt aku stori detail.
Tinggal 2 hari, hari ni selasa. As mention kt previous entry tu, ade checkup on 7/ 6/11..so it means today. Yup today appointment at 245pm. Aku ade instinct yang aku akan jumpa seseorg... hurm, btul ape yg aku rasa. Aku jumpa Ina, my ex-colleague. Ina kembar. heheh masa checkup before ni, die attend few days before me, then aku ade instinct yg die akan dtg pd hari dan waktu yg sama kerana rsnya die pon da start checkup for every 2weeks and today is the only day yg xfull pas doc blk bcuti.
Anyway, cuak aku adelah lebih kuat dr excited aku jumpa Ina. Sebab kompem arini ade VE lg, diseluk2...adeihhh trauma pengalaman yg lepas. Sampai2 kt DEMC, aku rasa gelap..pelik.. Rupanya blackout. Owh, sebaik xrush2 td. Xrush pon, sebab aku sakit perut sket before nk gi spital. Lambat sketla kami dilayan sebab kne tunggu everything ready, power ON sume. Agaknya dalam 3++ gakla. Aku kne buat CTG dlu, sementara tunggu doc entertain other patient. So, encik Nizam kne la tunggu kt lua sensorg. Xtau la ape result graph tu, and just after selesai ber'CTG' number aku naik. Hhehehe yeay, xyah tunggu lama. Tp... jeng3x, kne jumpa doc. adeih. Seperti jangkaan Encik Nizam, bgitu gakla ayat doc kt aku. Ingatkan da bsalin... ahahaha
Ape mau buat baby sayang ibu. uhuk uhuk :p Contraction pon xdela kerap but lebih kuat dari biasa. Camne tu? Doc check BP, scan...and VE seperti yg aku agak!!!! Doc ckp baby da cecah 3.2 kg aduih, cepatnye dia mbesar! Rasa before ni 2.65kg cmtu... ye ke??? Xpela. asalkan baby sihat yer. VE kali ni, mmg ler sakit. Tapi alhamdulillah, sakitnya xlama cm yg sebelum ni. Aku masih ade tenaga.... =) Alhamdulillah. 2cm da bukak.
Then, doc bg time until this friday je. Sebab baby pon dah capai 3kg. and my due will be on this thursday. 9th june. If xde ape2 tanda lg, u hv tocome to hospital on friday and admitted. Hurm itulah takdir aku.So baby, please2 help ibu and urself... mcm kata wonderpet, ape yg penting? KERJASAMA!!! Okay?! If baby nk kluar awal, I dont mind. But if xde sign lg, baby kne tlg ibu yer. Let's pray together semoga semua dipermudahkan. =) Anyway, everyone is waiting for YOU!
NOT YET. Heheh Jawapan tu la dok bg kt sesapa saja yg call/sms lately, coz they keep on tnye my update. Yup, agak lewat gak baby kua, but as long as blom overdue i think normal la kot. Nape yer ade sesetgh org tlalu cepat at 37w++ pon da deliver, meanwhile ada yg 39++ or 40++xkua2 lg. Adekah sebab aku kurang aktif bjalan, yeke? Rasanya bjalan jek, but xtaula kn rezeki masing2 =)
Barang2 baby and ibu da ready, just tunggu masa jek. Lastweek, ade 1day ni...perut memulas2 smpi rasa cm xleh nk bgn, bpeluh. Ingtkan it's the time... lama gakla bertahan, last2 kejut gak encik nizam, sebab xthn sgt dah time tu. Nk bersuara pon xdapat...bila dalam keadaan duduk, perut rasa lega sket...tp still sakit. Mmg rasa xconfident nk jalan and rasa xbdaya... Siyesly!!! Sgt scary time tu, tpikir, aku nk bsalin da ker? Adeih, pastu sebab perut memulas2, aku gagahkn gakla ke toilet. Tetiba rasa nk mbuang. Dalam hati, jgn ler tkua baby plak ahahha.. merepek!
Pas duk dalam toilet few minit, pastu rasa lega...but perut still xsedap gak... amek masa stgh jam gak la nk bole baring smula. Aku rasa mayb penangan petai...uhuhuhuh gile btul! Menyesal pulak makan petai sebab rasa cm da suspen xhengat! Eiii... mmg sengal! Masak sambal udang petai sampai buat perut memulas2...tp sedap, cmne tu??? ahahha sian jek encik nizam suspen2 pagi tu. adeih..
Anyway, semalam dapat makan mee rebus kt PKNS yg aku dok aim lama... sebab tiap kali datang da abes@ tutup... sedey tau! Semalam, dapat mkn for lunch. =) And mlm dapat mkn cornetto aiskrim! WOW aiskrim tu! Bukan senang aku nk dapat mkn makanan xbkhasiat cmtu kan... encik nizam bg plak semalam, die pon dapat 1 heheh. Heaven gile... tp aku aiskrim abes cepat, so aku meleleh airliur jekla tgk encik nizam abeskan die punye... uhhhh rugi xbeli dua =P Tp, dalam byk2 yg aku nk mkn tp xdapat adelah maggi hikhik. Still NO buat masa ni. Aku pon xdela rasa ngidam sgt ke maggi tu, just bila tgk iklan ke cite korea yg asek mlantak maggi tu, mula la rasa sedap mbuak2 kan?!! Walaupon sbenarnya, xdela sesedap mne uhuhuhuu
Esok ada checkup dgn Doc. And aku rasa trauma sket la sebab mayb die akan buat VE lg.... adeih. Redha jekla. Aku rasa, baby just waiting the rite time utk keluar when everyone really ready to accept her kot. Sebab nye last week ade beberapa ketidakseseuaian kerana firstly, my doc was on holiday for the whole week, 2nd my brother and wife holiday gak ke bandung, 3rd barang2 kt rumah my Parents xcomplete lg (today will be complete)....
Hurm.... InsyaAllah ths week baby bole kua dgn happy as everyone sudah bersedia. Of coz, ibu pon cuba bsedia mental fizikal! Huhhh kdg2 suspen jugak kan =p Sampai mimpi2 baby da kuar hikhik melampau btul!
Hari makin bkurang, pasni kira sebelah tgn jek. Adekah aku akan overdue? Tfikir gak...kalo ler overdue cmne ni? Runsing pon ade. Tp insyaAllah aku percaya, sumenya ada hikmahnya. Kata2 mummy Rose bg semangat kt aku, sebab aku kn dok tensen baby xmau kua lg. Then die cakap, jgn risau masa aku akan tiba gak. for timebeing, enjoy la masa aku dgn encik suami,coz after baby kua...everything will be different. Btul gak. thanks utk nasihat tu =)
Anyway, bila da start cuti ni, seperti biasa xtau nk buat ape. Aku pon da start changing my occupation as full-time hwife smentara tunggu bersalin ni. Memasak, membasuh baju, pinggan, kemas2 ler ape yg patut... Encik Nizam still WFH. Xpe ke gtu? iskkk risau pulak kan. Da seminggu baby xmau kua2, aku lak rasa bsalah encik Nizam tpaksa stay kt umah. Cyberjaya - Shah Alam agak jauh la gak. Plg laju pon aku bawak, smpi umah agak dlm 30min kot. Encik Nizam plak mmg mpunyai rutin keje yg pack...so, in case of emergency aku rasa dia dapat reached home dalam 1jam gakla. Nk inform bos, cancel meeting and works ke, packing lappy, bjalan ke parking, in case traffic ok still in an hour gakla. That's why kot, encik nizam mintak izin bos to WFH.
Tiap kali aku online ni, dok update FB and salu YM mode invi saja. Ade gak kawan tinggalkn msg kt IM tnye da bsalin ke?, wishing luck and so on... Hehehe tula, aku pon ingt aku da bsalin time ni. Tapi... baby selesa sangat kt perut ibu. Macam2 update kt FB, tp nk komen byk pon, nnt panjang ler org tnye. Nnt stress plak, cm org tnye 'bila nk kawen?' adeih.... :-p
Harap2 bila time nak deliver nnt, adela sign cm water broke ke darah ke... coz sungguh la xtau nk kira contraction tu. Lately mmg contraction makin kuat but after few hours faded rasanya. Tu yang xbape nk yakin. Mayb it's just not the time yet. Menguji btul! Hehehe
Wah, semalam masa xde kije dok mengadap rancangan2 Astro ni berlagha aku tkujut dgn ape yg aku tgk. Actually aku mmg tunggu saat ni, yg mana TV Alhijrah dapat ditonton kat Astro. Xsilap TV ni dilancarkan hujung thn lepas, November@ December...xingt. But, masa tu xcollaborate with Astro lg. Sayang btul... coz aku cm ternanti2kan something 'like this'.
Cam pembaharuan pada dunia penyiaran, and hopefully diorg pon siarkan something yang btul2 mendidik dan membantu dalam 'penghijrahan' content media massa yg sedia ada. Bukan senang untuk bertapak, tapi harap2 dengan support dari muslimin muslimat dan niat suci pengasas dan 'sesiapa yg bertanggungjawab' mengusahakan dapatlah siaran TV Alhijrah mendapat tempat dihati viewers.
Macam siaran2 TV lain yg br nk establish, mmg xbyk lg siaran menarik and org ckp, br nk 'Intro2' kt viewers and test market. Bagi peluang and support for the new change in media and product delivered. It's a good change, May all the effort they put in berbaloi! InsyaAllah...
Tangan pijar,tapi nak mnaip jugak. Baru pas memasak... ayam masak lemak cili api. Tu yg pijarnya. Kalo org melaka...'pijau'! Hehehe nk type pijau, tapi kang org kompius lak apekah 'pijau' itu. :p
Kebosanan tadi, sempatla update email keje, and br teringat bulan ni, there'll be a re-org for the company im working. My current bos ada inform that i'll be staying under him for some more years...(smpi bila???? uhuk2) but luckily, as Im in process of waiting for labor...so xyah susah2 pikir nk apply cuti and senang nk cooperate and inform anything to him.
And more, there's something new about the system of attendance in the 'new enviroment'. Sebenarnya, previous company pon da ade mende ni tp as for our company yg still in a 'toddler age' byk yg xbape nk siap and in process of bertapak dgn kukuh.Hehehe (aku karang dgn ayat yg baik tau! Agak2 bole dpt bonus 2-3 bln x? :-p)
Ada few system yg i could say 'dalam percubaan', and not sure berapa lama bertahan. Biasala, part system ni..sometimes when it's new...not reliable. Unless, diorg beli system ni. Aku pon xsure... sbb tgk email, try link tu, xdapat pulak. Huhuhu... agak2 pas aku masuk balik keje pas bersalin ape lg pembaharuan pd company ni. I hope dapat few more projects! Tu jekla, xmaula masuk...and still goyang kaki cm skang ni. Tp Alhamdulillah la, sebab time aku nk bsalin ni la, da nk end of project. Nothing much to do except part consulting je.
Aku mimpi semalam, company aku dpt sambung project dgn customer ni lg. GLC kn, so...lucky for our company, got project dari company besa ni. Lucky... if we really got to continue working with them. Dalam tgh2 mood bersalin, bole lg aku mimpi pasal keje kan? Komited kah??? ahhaha mungkin bosan dan rindukan kerja (euuww~~~ aku ker ni??)
Wah bagus btul mnaip ni, rasa pijau da kurang. Rasa numb jek... :p
